Coach, listen. I admire your constant revolving styles in tune with the changing seasons and I’m kind of excited that you’re hopping on the sequined/bedazzled bandwagon but seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
From what I can see, it’s not a giant teal feathered sequined purse with weird ribbon embellishments. And it’s not a poor blue bird whose head got caught inside a tangled and sparkly overpriced clutch. It’s actually two different bags artistically tied together with ribbons and chains that’s supposed to convey the holiday gift giving season.
Sorry, but all I see is a ugly, glittery mess. You know, Coach, if you want girls to buy your stuff, it might be good to make it clear on what exactly they should buy. Maybe you know, throw some Christmas tree graphics or like, an actual gift box so people know what message you’re trying to bring. Your products = holiday gifts. Not exotic birds strangled by ribbon tentacled sequin chain monsters.
Granted, it was a project that Ernie always planned to do but hey, I had a camera, Jee had her awesomely adorable Asian poses ready and we had a table full of Asians who couldn’t say no.
According to my mother, things I need from Japan include knitted socks with froggies on them. The best part is that when I called to thank her, she asked me about the socks so matter-a-factly. Like, the idea of a 28 year old girl wearing these booties adorned with stuffed frog heads was no big deal. Her reasoning was that they’ve got the non-slip pads on the bottom of them, so they’re really useful.
This is the true story of 8 Asian bloggers–wait, only 4–picked to be a part of an Asian American blogger gathering who are forced to sit together very closely on stage with about 15 other bloggers to find out what happens…Oh, who cares. Actually, do you want to know what happens when we get together in person?
This past Saturday, I got to meet up with Ernie, Jee and Christine (WHO CROSSED THE FRIGGIN BORDER FOR THIS) for Banana 09. It was pretty awesome to meet other bloggers face to face, especially those who’ve you disagreed with before and it was a good lesson to realize that the Internet does not equal real life.
It also reaffirmed my belief that all my friends on 8Asians are like the funniest, bestest and most awesomest (like totally) people ever.
Today marks a special moment in life: after heading out to lunch with my co-workers friends, I was crowned an Honorary Dude. Of course, this led to a debate on whether or not I needed to get a penis and how this would be presented to me at work without Human Resources getting in the way, but it’s nice to know that I don’t really need this vagina anymore.
All of this leads to a really important question. It’s not why guys are so obsessed with the idea of putting their own penis in their mouth, but do you think being able to and wanting to makes you gay* in any way?
Good question, right? My answer is yes. The argument may be that just because you like to touch yourself doesn’t mean you want to give another guy a handjob but the main point remains: you want to have a penis in your mouth. Right?
Anyway, then we started talking about how gross vaginas are. At least, that’s my consensus. Man, being a dude is pretty fun.
*And by gay, I mean, not straight. Not gay in any derogatory manner. I don’t approve of that use in any way.
I am such a good wife. Not only did I make dinner two nights in a row this week, but I even tracked down and ordered the handmade chocolate truffles that B loved so much during our last trip up to Sonoma. Well, I mean, I HAD to because I lost a stupid bet (sorry, I did not think they sold safes at Best Buy. It’s an electronic store, right? Why would they sell safes there?) but being a girl who never admits that she’s wrong, I didn’t really HAVE to. But I did. I Googled and tracked down this couple who makes these yummy chocolates, emailed them back and forth about special ordering a box and even made sure they arrived before Thanksgiving.
And what thanks do I get? I’ve been home now for almost an hour with these chocolates waiting to be noticed (and for me to be rewarded somehow for remembering that I lost a bet), all because B is busy playing L4D2 with someone. RUDE.
So if I wait another 30 minutes, does this give me a right to open and eat these chocolates alone?
I feel like I’m cheating when I just post stupid videos from YouTube. So here is a picture from a weekly meeting at the office.
Anyway, my friend Mike and I came up with a new game: Left 4 Debt (or just 4 Debt) based on a message I left him that Google Voice completely messed up. I was asking him if he still needed a copy of Left 4 Dead 2, which Google thought was just “For Debt”.
Hey Mike, It’s Molly, I think email and give me a call back. I am presently have a copy of the For Debt Tuesday night, you know if you still wanted to let me know if you can order it but I don’t know East automatically going to be and I’m not so give me a call. Bye.
Okay, for the LAST TIME PEOPLE, my name is not Molly. Second of all, what I said was nothing about presently having a copy and who the heck is East? Google Voice, you disappoint me.
But on the other hand, 4 Debt is a brilliant idea: it’ll be a zombie killing game set in the post sub-prime mortgage apocalypse (brought to you by Mint.com). Thousands of homeless zombies are roaming the streets and you have to fight for your own survival against crazy undead monsters like Angelo Mozilo as “Tangelo” and Bernie Madoff as ‘The Ponz”. I haven’t decided who The Witch would be. Any ideas?
Anyway…this is how my life is lame. I’m going back to doing nothing again.
I think I lost a couple friends since posting that last entry. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, I was thoroughly disturbed by it and nowhere do I condone animal-on-animal rape.
And yeah, I just had to share it with everyone.
So to bring up the spirits, here’s the opening sequence to Up. Smiles!!!
(More like tears, which I totally did while watching this.)
Let me ask you something. If someone sent you this video, would you still be friends with them? Or would you, like me, be incredibly disturbed by this animal-on-animal rape that you wouldn’t ever look at nature in the same way again? And therefore, feel really weird around that person?
Apparently, I’m alone cause this is what my friends had to say.
Will: HOLY SHIT. That frog has like no gag reflex!
Chris: The sound of the child crying in the background perfectly captures my own reaction to everything about this video. There’s not enough hot water in the world to wash off this dirty feeling.
Me: You didn’t answer my question.
Chris: I think there are some states in which you could bring that person up on charges for sending you this. Not sure if Cali is one of them.
Is it just me or are they singing “Gosship Girl”? Does speaking Korean give you an American speech impediment? I know nothing about this Rainbow girl group but this whole music looks like an ad for Forever 21 and I can’t even figure out who’s who.
I also have no idea what’s going on in this video. I really thought it was 4 different girls until I realized it was the same girl with 4 different hairstyles. Does that make me racist?
