My Ear Hurts

As I’ve been telling everyone who will listen, my right ear hurts when I swallow, chew and burp (which is a lot). It’s really annoying (I also never knew I burped so much) and I don’t have time to go to the doctor, so of course I googled the issue to diagnose myself. Could I have an ear infection?

Let me tell you. As awesome, amazing and informational this Google search engine can be, especially when you’re looking for long lost song lyrics or hentai pictures or whether curry is a flavor or a dish, it’s pretty fucking retarded when it comes to medical questions.

For example, here’s one of the first sites that popped up:

Why dose it? I don’t know, but here’s an answer:

i have no idea , but thats hilarious.

Thanks for the help.

Or how about these kind people who responded to a similar question?

you might have a brake in your inner ear tissue and this is a serious mater and if left unchecked you might loose your hearing, so go to the doctor as soon as you can.

and

If it is not muscle thatn use the juice of a baked (or microwaved) onion as ear drops.
If it is muscle the same type of things for headaches below.

Okay. Enough. This isn’t making me feel better, both about my ear AND the fate of humanity. I mean, is it good that the Internet provides absolutely no help for medical questions? Obviously yes, because why the fuck are you depending on the Information Superhighway to diagnose yourself with that would be a serious condition?? IDIOTS.

Then again, idiots (like me) do this anyway and that’s where the misinformation about ear canal care begins.

So I called Dr. Rob Bercovitch and he said I probably just have fluid in my ear, something else about taking decongestants to make it feel better, I shouldn’t go to the doctor because it’s really no big deal and then I also might have ear cancer so I should put peanut butter in it.

There you go. Real doctors are just as horrible as Google doctors.