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How to kill your parents and get away with it.

August 9, 2006

It looks like teenagers are coming up with new ways to kill their parents and get off scott-free. Erik and Lyle Menendez are sitting (and by sitting, I mean getting it up the butt) in jail right now kicking themselves for not coming up with something this clever. When I have kids, there’s no way something this freakingly tragic will happen to me. How can a kid kill you if he’s chained to the water heater in the basement?

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18 comments

  1. ahem. credit? thank you…


  2. kill them leve no wittnessis and no back trace then skip town


  3. Get a gun (preferrably silenced one). Kill your parents so that noone knows.

    Go to your local black market supplier and buy lots of weapons and ammo. Call your friends and tell them to do the same.

    Then gather at your house which should be a fortress by now.

    Call the police and shoot them. Call the police again. Shoot them again. And so on and so forth till you run out of ammo. Then , if you are in a place where there’s no death penalty, surrender. If not, then go on till you’re killed. At least you’ll know you took a whole lot of them with you.

    Or , the simple method.
    Don’t wash your feet or remove your socks for a whole year. Then put your socks under your parents’ noses while their sleeping. They won’t wake up.

    Oh… and don’t try this at home…
    Try it in a public place :D


  4. no really I really need to kill my dad he grounded me for a month for no reason, give me some other ways without a gun, currently no blackmarket sellers where i live.


  5. i wish i had the strength to kill my parents and the world and god and all and not.


  6. Why shoot them and take ya life???
    You’ll just see them in the afterlife which defeats the purpose


  7. Just drug them so they fall asleep and never wake up then you dont need a gun and you get to live. thats what i would do


  8. look up organic poisons and find some in your local botanical gardens, organic poisons have had a long and jaded history..


  9. i think i shjould try it


  10. if u want to have a fight with ur parents then take to heavy weights and punch them or buy some brass nuckles and use weights and nock them out. then burn there bodies in a bond fire.


  11. yeah i say kill the parents. fuck it man i hate my dad. want to kill him with own damn hands!


  12. I think that the best metod is go to a pharmacy and get a lot of antidepressing or sleep pills, then you buy a bottle of soda and mixed with the pills. When they drink it they will die and the police is going to belive that is a suicide and you are free to kill someone else.


  13. Look I know you all may be full with anger.. BUT DONT DO THIS.
    Your parents love and care for you. Trust me sometimes I wish I didnt have any parents.
    I mean wait til your old enough and move out…
    & plz think of your choices….
    & do you guys honestly think you wouldnt get caught…
    ooo & i advise you guys to get help…. because if the thought of you wanting to kill ur parents comes up… u must not be that well in the head.


  14. Yes, they are very well in their heads.
    The thing is that you hate someone so much that you want IT dead, but the problem is if you kill IT, you wont get away from IT. IT will haunt you till the rest of your life, and thats just what IT wants – to be the cause of your pain and fear. Thats why you hate them so da*n much.
    The only solution is to run away.
    Just get away as far as you can from them, there is no other solution for the fu**ed up parents.


  15. http://hawdumz.blogspot.com/2004/11/preface-how-to-kill-and-get-away-with.html
    should give you a hint about killing ppls…
    :D:D am currently planning how to kill my mom XD


  16. DAMN
    that comment right there would most likely fuck my trial up :S


  17. [...] when trying to kill your parents January 30, 2008 One of our top posts here at Chopstix is How To Kill Your Parents, which is really disturbing because people find it when they google “how to kill your [...]


  18. [...] How To Kill Yours Parents And Get Away With It: Yeah, I guess I should be disturbed that people keep posting the best idea of how to murder your parents, but honestly, I don’t are. Go see a therapist. [...]



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